But author and activist, Chaz Ebert, still has hope. “When I started working on my book, I wasn’t sure why I was writing it,” explains Ebert. “But my family, especially my daughter, encouraged me to keep going. She said, ‘You need to write this.’ She was correct; this message is needed now more than ever.”

Ebert’s book, “It’s Time to Give a FECK: Elevating Humanity through Forgiveness, Empathy, Compassion, and Kindness,” is about four fundamental values that Ebert believes can help us all to help ourselves and our community.

Understanding Forgiveness

To understand forgiveness, Ebert, 71, writes about a conversation with South African Archbishop Desmond Tutu. He said to her, “Without forgiveness, there is nothing. You remain a prisoner. Without forgiveness, the nation cannot move forward.”

“I came to realize forgiving someone is something you give yourself. When you forgive, you let go and sleep easier.”

For Ebert, Tutu’s words provided an “a-ha” moment. “Before speaking with Tutu, I always saw forgiveness as something you give to another person who has wronged you,” explains Ebert. “But I came to realize forgiving someone is something you give yourself. When you forgive, you let go and sleep easier.”

Another revelation Ebert shares is the power of forgiving yourself. When Ebert was 16, the first of her siblings to head to a four-year university, she discovered she was pregnant. Ebert says, “I was so ashamed. I had always been called a ‘leader’ and ‘such a good girl,’ and now I would disappoint my whole family.”

But when Ebert told her family about the pregnancy, she received nothing but love and support. They told her they would work with her to figure out a way for her to have the baby and finish school (Ebert graduated college, graduate school and law school).