Halsey is getting honest about coming back to the music industry after getting sick.

The 29-year-old star, who just released “Lucky” following a diagnosis of Lupus SLE and a rare T-cell lymphoproliferative disorder, posted on their “tiredandlonelymuse” account about the experience of returning to music thus far.

“My own fans are hands down meaner to me than any other people on the planet. Not speaking for all of you, of course. But it used to be just a minority that were awful to me and now it seems like a majority have only stuck around to chime in occasionally with their opinion of how much they hate me or how awful I am,” Halsey wrote.

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“it’s hard to want to engage in a space that is completely devoid of any kindness, sympathy, patience; or to be honest human decency. Especially after years of hiding from the interactions for fear that this EXACT thing would happen. I don’t know man. I almost lost my life. I am not gonna do anything that doesn’t make me happy anymore. I can’t spiritually afford it,” Halsey continued.

“When I got sick all I could think about was getting better so I could come back and be a part of THIS again, but I don’t even know what *this* is anymore and I want to crawl in a hole and I regret coming back.”

“Anyway. I’m on my way to a PET scan. And uploading lucky stripped. Because this is the insane irony my life has become. I’m a person. Not a character in a music video,” Halsey added in another post.

The post also comes after Britney Spears initially seemingly criticized, then voiced support, for Halsey‘s release, which interpolates her own hit song “Lucky.” Find out what Halsey said in return.